But, that's how we talk... (2010)

My roomies and I are BIG fan of bollywood. Whenever there’s a new movie we are excited to watch it until sometimes the reviews are extraordinarily pungent. We have probably watched a few favorite movies more than fifty times on television (no exaggeration). Most of them have left lasting impacts on our speech (casual conversation) that we have with each other and many a times … embarrassingly with others who do not get the head or tail of it. I don’t know if it is a thing to be proud about – but we know almost every other dialogue in every other scene of these few (10-15) movies. And we enjoying mixing them in our regular chit chat.

Movies like Khosla ka Ghosla, Gangajal, Apaharan, Rajneeti, Namaste London, Jane tu ya jaane na, Omkara, Rang de basanti have flavored our tone and diction to a great ‘accent’.

Sometimes a phone conversation starts with “Kaise ho Kathor“(Omkara) or “Kya baat kar diye cherry bhai” and ends with “Jaa simran …jee le apni zindagi“(DDLJ). And that reminds me of Dee Dee El Jay Diwali and Why ee ass NO(Golmal-3) that often spring up without purpose to crack some smiles. As soon as there is a trivial task done one of us might shout “Lo ji ho gaya plot aapka” (Khosla ka Ghosla). Fortunately, none of us is in Realty.

If the situation sometimes is convoluted we may start by saying “Wo ji khurana saahab aapke plot mein interested HONA CHAH RAHE THHE..” Don’t get shocked if we introduce ourselves as “Mein teja hun… Mark idhar hai“(Andaaz apna apna) or if after the introduction we ask you “Aap party hain ya broker?“(Khosla ka Ghosla). The answer is not required. Your brows might twitch if we appreciate you by saying “No No Whery good… WHERY DECENT” (Khosla ka Ghosla) or if we respond to your appreciation by saying “Bass etna keh diye aap… aaj seena chaowda ho gaya humraa“(Gangajal). Trust me though, the appreciation is genuine and so is the response.

If there is something to boast about it is “Raees khandaan hai humaara, chaar bhainsein hain humari” (Namaste London). And when there is a statement of regret it is in line with “Agar mujhe pata hota … ki tum yahan rehti ho… to mein zara pii ke nahi aata“(Namaste London).

An ideal tease consists of “Ek to tu dikhta achha nahi… oopar se to ghareeb hai… kaun karegi tujhse shadi“(Jaane tu ya jaane na) and if we want to disturb you on a phone conversation it would be around “Maataji is doing namastey from inside” (Khosla ka Ghosla). And if we want to sound rude it would be like “Aap chai lenge? coffee? Thanda?… to aap chup rehne ka kya lenge?“(Khosla ka Ghosla). A show of care starts with “Dekhna kahiin death na kar jaaye” (Apaharan) and the show of power is when we say “Humaari party ki jadein itni kamjor nahi ki aise haadason se hil jaaye“(Rajneeti).

A pleading request sounds like “Jeeju ke friend photo kheechoge… kheechoooo“(Jab we met), and a frustrated denial is like “ye saale launde… mujhe gannnnne ke khet dikhana chahte hain… Kyun dekhun mein ganne ke khet… aisa kya hai ganne ke kheton mein?“(Jab we met). If you make an excuse we can catch you by saying ”Abbey Tujhe kya seedhe jaane ke liye rakha hai?” (Rocket Singh). If you make us angry you’d hear “Balwant rai ke kutte“(Salakhein) or retaliate with “Aankh dikhata hai maadar-jaat“ and we may also daunt you by saying “Baandar ke see dekhi sey? maar maar ke waisi laal kar doonga” (Rang de basanti). Just don’t boast because we can shrug you of with “Mein ki aukaat nahi aur hum ka dawa“(Atithi kab jaoge).

Well, I know it’s a long one after a long time. Blogspot.com guys appeared in my dreams in and said “Kya thaakur tereko kitni baar bulaya … tu aata hi nahi hai“(Sarfarosh) so I had to come and write this all. I also know that this is real crazy but if you can appreciate this … join the club “Tum hi ho sachche bahubali“(Omkara) and if you find it crap “Teri maa ka ghosla” (Golmaal-3).

Unknowingly Co-authored by DJ(Devashish Jatthap) and Kamla(Kamal Sindara). They never wrote a line, but, this wasn't possible without them.

Learnings from Bollywood (2010)

Here's to Bollywood!

Some famous lines and their VERY unusual meaning...

1. Ek kaagaz pe thappa nahi lagega to kya Tara pakistan nahi jaega…(Gadar)

Tara followed his dream…You follow yours… One should dream with some seriousness attached. Those who have achieved have been people who have believed their dreams. You might need to crusade your way to fulfill them. But at the end, it is all totally worth the effort.


2. Chandramukhi ho ya paaro, Ki Faraq penda hai yaaro… (Jhankar Beats)

Be Flexible! Being flexible is a choice. There are successful people who changed with changing circumstances, and another set of successful people who changed the circumstances to their will. Whatever you believe in, you should try to embrace reality in way that doesn’t cause stress.


3. Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai…(Don)

Some bugs are just unavoidable. Don’t fret the small stuff. When we take a holistic view of life, the small imperfections only add to the beauty of it. Some of the miseries in life are God’s Practical jokes. Not all of them are enjoyable, but you can still laugh your way out of embarrassment.


4. Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai…(Kabhie Kabhie)

Think! …sometimes! Thinking is hard work. Sometimes you are required to think big, global, out-of-the-box. Why shut the doors of fantasy. It’s absolutely your space, don’t be shy in thinking like president of America. It is fun, revitalizing, improves creativity and you also get to understand the world better when you try to watch it wearing someone else’s shoes.


5. Mogambo khush hua… (Mr. India)

The weirdest of clients can be pleased. Clients are inherently monstrous devils. But you still have to consider them God and reiterate to yourself that they are always Right. And when you do that, when you try to forget your issues for a second and look from Customer’s perspective you have quite a chance of talking in his language and end up appeasing him. The toughest and weirdest of clients can also be appeased. Just listen enough to let them think that you are talking their language.


6. Kitne aadmi thhe…? (Sholay)

Quantity matters. Quality is important. But Quantity is what is important for that ‘instant impression‘. Don’t underestimate the power of numbers. Number of tasks you do, number of clients you convert, number of interviews you take, number of people you benefit.


7. Basanti in kutton ke saamne matt naachna…(Sholay)

Know your audience. More often then not the problem between you and others is lack of understanding. If you know your audience you have a better chance of delivering something they can relate to.


8. Aaj khush to bohot hoge tumm.. haaiiin? (Deewar)

Ask yourself frequently- Are you happy? Because if you are not, what’s the point of living. Are you living or just earning the living? Keeping others happy is important but it is simply not possible without keeping yourself happy first.


9. Ye haath humko de thakur… (Sholay)

Optimize not Exploit. Don’t cut the goose who lays golden eggs. Over exploitation yields in premature exhaustion. It can be you, your colleague, vendor or friend. Be sure you are optimizing and not over-exploiting.


10. I love you…ka ka ka Kiran? (Darr)

Whatever the constraints be, JUST SAY IT! If no one else, be your own Kiran. Love thyself. No seriously. Love your brain, love your dreams,appreciate your thoughts. Love your legs and hands and face, touch them with affection. Ok! take a good laugh at this thought once, but secretly try it once. You will feel awesome.


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