The odometer of my new bike reads seven thousand today. My new Yamaha FZ-16 is ten months old now but I still like to call it new. It’s been for almost six thousand kilometers that I’ve been writing this blog in my mind. So it has six thousand kilometers of thought. At the risk of digressing, I think that’s an innovative measure for thought. And people who travel from Borivali to Churchgate daily, can meter over 60 kilometers of thinking every day. That’s huge. Argghh! anyway, I started this post to rant about the unsaid driving rules in Mumbai. So here they are:
1. There is plenty of space at the left (and top, but bikes are technologically challenged to fly) : No matter how long the queue of buses and cars be at the signal - the bikewalas will always get a free stream at the extreme left. You can also drive on footpaths, but I will not respect you then.
2. Above 60kmph you are leaving everyone behind. The average speed of traffic on the highway is less than sixty. So if you can maintain anything above that you are flying past everyone.
3. If you follow the lane discipline, you’ll be honked.
4. If you respect the signal unnecessarily, you’ll be honked. And ninety percent of the times it is unnecessary to stop at the red signal. Actually Signal doesn’t tell you to GO or STOP (see picture), it’s subjective to the presence of traffic police or traffic itself and is often democratically decided by co-drivers.
5. Even at 12 am on a regular day, you may find a traffic Jam.
6. Honking is fun, time pass, habit and everything but useful - Those who honk have no purpose, and those who walk on the road don’t listen to it anyway. Sometimes I have to turn back and stare at someone to make him realize he is honking unnecessarily. Honking is as involuntary as clicking refresh on windows desktop. You just do that without need or without any thought. (I really miss that on my Mac.) It’s my personal entertainment to stare people to correction. Surprisingly, dippers work too, but isn’t in vogue yet.
7. Never believe a Ricky. If you haven’t read this yet, Ricky is a Rickshaw-wala. Like TV-Ads they popup any time from anywhere. They have no fixed direction and can suddenly take a U-turn right when you are trying to overtake. I detest them. The best day of my driving life was when Mumbai Rickshawalas were on strike. I am purely lucky that I haven’t banged into one yet. There have a lot of close escapes though. At least fifty percent of Mumbai traffic problems are due to them.
8. BEST rules: Never mess with a BEST bus. They rule the roads. If bikes and cars are like ‘aam-aadmi’ (common man NOT mango man) BEST buses are like mighty politicians and rickies are like roadside hooligans. Both break rules in their own way.
People, in general, don’t have any patience. They are involuntarily in a haste, running a race, with everyone else. Is it a part of their struggle for survival? Maybe. But most of the time they can be corrected with a stare - means they are good at heart and they know they are wrong - or maybe I am daunting (fun-intended).
This was meant to be a mean rant. But I guess I am too bad at being mean or ranting. Or maybe I need a few more kilometers of thinking.
1. There is plenty of space at the left (and top, but bikes are technologically challenged to fly) : No matter how long the queue of buses and cars be at the signal - the bikewalas will always get a free stream at the extreme left. You can also drive on footpaths, but I will not respect you then.
2. Above 60kmph you are leaving everyone behind. The average speed of traffic on the highway is less than sixty. So if you can maintain anything above that you are flying past everyone.
3. If you follow the lane discipline, you’ll be honked.
4. If you respect the signal unnecessarily, you’ll be honked. And ninety percent of the times it is unnecessary to stop at the red signal. Actually Signal doesn’t tell you to GO or STOP (see picture), it’s subjective to the presence of traffic police or traffic itself and is often democratically decided by co-drivers.
5. Even at 12 am on a regular day, you may find a traffic Jam.
6. Honking is fun, time pass, habit and everything but useful - Those who honk have no purpose, and those who walk on the road don’t listen to it anyway. Sometimes I have to turn back and stare at someone to make him realize he is honking unnecessarily. Honking is as involuntary as clicking refresh on windows desktop. You just do that without need or without any thought. (I really miss that on my Mac.) It’s my personal entertainment to stare people to correction. Surprisingly, dippers work too, but isn’t in vogue yet.
7. Never believe a Ricky. If you haven’t read this yet, Ricky is a Rickshaw-wala. Like TV-Ads they popup any time from anywhere. They have no fixed direction and can suddenly take a U-turn right when you are trying to overtake. I detest them. The best day of my driving life was when Mumbai Rickshawalas were on strike. I am purely lucky that I haven’t banged into one yet. There have a lot of close escapes though. At least fifty percent of Mumbai traffic problems are due to them.
8. BEST rules: Never mess with a BEST bus. They rule the roads. If bikes and cars are like ‘aam-aadmi’ (common man NOT mango man) BEST buses are like mighty politicians and rickies are like roadside hooligans. Both break rules in their own way.
People, in general, don’t have any patience. They are involuntarily in a haste, running a race, with everyone else. Is it a part of their struggle for survival? Maybe. But most of the time they can be corrected with a stare - means they are good at heart and they know they are wrong - or maybe I am daunting (fun-intended).
This was meant to be a mean rant. But I guess I am too bad at being mean or ranting. Or maybe I need a few more kilometers of thinking.
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